How nerdy are you?

Rick Reynolds said something that rings true for me. He said, “The smart people I know are a lot funnier than the stupid people I know.”

Last night, my kids and I were at a gathering of several hundred smart, funny people - or at least smart people with a good appreciation for humor.

That's right, we were at a Weird Al Yankovic concert.

Mr. Yankovic's latest hit song is titled “White & Nerdy” - and that was the audience, we are the white and nerdy.

The concert was incredible, if you ever get the chance to see Weird Al live you will not be disappointed - from the video clips to the costume changes to the sing-a-longs and polkas, this show has it all!

So, let's take a moment to rate ourselves on the “White & Nerdy” scale.

This is simple, below you will find the lyrics to the song. In parenthesis, I've assigned a point value for each nerdy trait. Just add up the number of points that apply to you and check your score at the bottom. If you'd care to share your score and/or any details about your nerdy-ness, please do so in the comments section. Good luck!


White & Nerdy
Lyrics by Al Yankovic (2 points if you can name at least three songs by Weird Al, 5 points if you own any of his recordings)

First in my class there at MIT (5 points if you've been to MIT, 50 points if you've attended MIT as a student, 10,000 points if you were, in fact, first in your class at MIT - subtract one point if you don't know what MIT is)

Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D (5 points if you've ever played D&D, 20 points if you've ever been a “dungeon master” - subtract one point if you don't know what D&D is)

MC Escher, that's my favorite MC (2 points if you can describe a work by Escher, 10 points if you've ever owned anything with Escher's work on it - subtract one point if you don't know who MC Escher is)

Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea (2 points if you've ever had Earl Grey tea, 10 points if you know who regularly requests Earl Grey tea - “hot” - subtract one point if you're scratching your head on this one)

My rims never spin - to the contrary
You'll find that they're quite stationary (3 points if the rims on your car do not spin - subtract 20 points if they do)

All of my action figures are cherry (2 points if you've ever collected action figures, 10 points if you still have at least one in the original package)

Stephen Hawking's in my library (5 points if you've ever owned a book by Stephen Hawking, 40 points if you've ever read it - subtract 20 points if you don't know who Stephen Hawking is)

My MySpace page is totally pimped out
Got people beggin for my Top 8 spaces (5 points if you have a MySpace page, 10 points if it's “pimped out” - subtract 3 points if you've never seen a MySpace page)

Yo, I know pi to a thousand places (40 points if you've ever figured out pi to at least 15 places, subtract 10 points if you think we're talking about something with crust and a filling)

Ain't got grills, but I still wear braces (if you're over the age of 20 and have braces, give yourself 10 points)

I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise (3 points)

I'm a whiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
Once you see my sweet moves, you're going to stay amazed
My fingers movin' so fast, I'll set the place ablaze (5 points if you've ever played Minesweeper for more than 2 hours in a sitting)

There's no killer app I haven't run
At Pascall well, I'm number one (20 points if you've ever used Pascall)

Do vector calculus just for fun (30 points if you've done calculus “just for fun”)

I ain't got a gat but I got a soldering gun (10 points if you own a soldering gun, 20 points if you use it - subtract 20 points if you're thinking there should be legislation to ban the sale of soldering gun ammo)

“Happy Days” is my favorite theme song (5 points if you can remember the words and/or the tune to “Happy Days”, 20 points if you can remember what was originally used as the theme song from the black and white days - subtract 5 points if you don't know who “The Fonz” is)

I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong (5 points if you have ever played ping pong, 10 points if you are good at it, 30 points if you've ever played in an organized tournament)

I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on (10 points if you've ever won a game of trivial pursuit)

I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon (30 points if you know anything about Java, 50 points if you can say at least two words in Klingon)

I've been browsin', inspectin'
X-Men comics, you know I collect 'em (30 points if you have a collection of comic books, 50 points if you keep them in their plastic covers)

The pens in my pocket, I must protect 'em (30 points if you actually use a pocket protector)

My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored (20 points if you've ever owned an ergonomic keyboard, 35 points if you're using one right now)

Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media (15 points)

I edit Wikipedia (20 points if you've ever contributed or edited a Wikipedia entry)

I memorized “Holy Grail” really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL (5 points for every time you've watched “Grail”, 25 points if you can recite at least three lines right now - subtract 20 points if you have no idea what this is about)

I got a business doin web sites
When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do HTML for 'em all
Even made a home page for my dog (10 points if you work in the computer industry, 15 points if you use HTML, 40 points if you've ever made a web page for a pet)

Yo, I got myself a fanny pack (20 points if you use a fanny pack)
They were havin a sale down at The Gap (20 more points if you bought it at The Gap)

Spend my nights with a roll of buble wrap
Pop, pop, hope no one sees me…getting freaky (10 points if you've ever popped a roll of buble wrap)

I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream
I was in A/V Club and Glee Club and even the Chess Team (20 points for each organization you've joined)

Only question I ever thought was hard
Was, do I like Kirk or do I like Picard? (10 points if you had to think about that question, 20 points if you've thought about it in the past and already made up your mind - subtract 40 points if you have no idea what the line is about)

Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire (10 points for every time you've ever been to a Renaissance Fair, 30 points for every time you dressed for it)

Got my name on my underwear (Um, I really don't want to know, so we just won't count this one)



If you scored:

650 or more - You are the “poster child” for White & Nerdy - I'll be sure to give you a call when I need help understanding quantum physics

450 - 650 - It's safe to assume you've been to your share of conventions, keep an eye out for some of my friends at PhilCon and BaltiCon

250 - 450 - You're in the “borderline” area, you might be able to hang out with the nerdy elite, but some of their conversations go over your head from time to time

100 - 250 - You're probably accepted in polite society and don't ever get any strange looks when you make your observations out loud

10 - 100 - You might want to actually read a book from time to time

less than 10 - Um, are you sure you know how to use a computer?